Winedog Initiation Process

Blog post 1/8/11

Our ad for the wine tasting at the Wine Merchant has generated interest from one person – billygoat. He is going to attend and wants to join the wine-dogs. He dropped by my house to talk to his girlfriend nannygoat. My car had just died where we were walking with my dog Fabio. So she took me home to call AAA. We were drinking some wine waiting to get a call back when billygoat stopped by.

I tried to give him one of our wine glasses, but he said he wanted to be officially initiated. I said he could also have a wine-dog T-shirt, but he wants more. Well, we don’t have an official initiation process. A few years ago, we tried to sell our glasses, T-shirts and little plates that hold a wine glass so you can eat and drink at parties more easily. Everyone wanted to be a wine-dog. But they would not pay for any of our promotional stuff. So we gave a lot of it away. We told people they were wine-dogs even though it was pretty much meaningless.

It was surprising that everyone wants to be a wine-dog. These are intelligent, professionals. They seem to like the sound of it. But, they don’t see any monetary value in it. I totally understand.

So now the dilemma is to create some kind of initiation ceremony. I guess we need to first get billygoat back over my house or to wine-dog2’s house. We can give him a glass, shirt and plate. We’ll give him at least one nice glass of wine to drink. We won’t want to charge him because I am sure he won’t want to pay. Not that he is cheap – he just might find it insulting or unnecessary.

What else can we do? Take a look at this from Wikipedia:

Initiation is a rite of passage ceremony marking entrance or acceptance into a group or society. It could also be a formal admission to adulthood in a community or one of its formal components. In an extended sense it can also signify a transformation in which the initiate is ‘reborn’ into a new role.

Examples of initiation ceremonies might include Christian baptism or confirmation, Jewish bar or bat mitzvah, acceptance into a fraternal organization, secret society or religious order, or graduation from school or recruit training.

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Wikipedia then goes on to describe:

• Spiritual initiation rites, which can involve the revelation of secrets and transfer of powers. (I can tell this won’t work.)
• Trade union initiations, which involves explaining some procedures and agreements, and then typically charging a fee. Nix on this, too.
• Military initiations with names like “crossing the equator” and “Kissing the Royal Belly.” We can’t go there as these are hazing activities with physical assault and lewd acts. Yuck. Supposedly, the US military stopped these activities in the 1980’s.
• Gang initiations that require committing crimes and potential fatalities. Worse than yuck.
• Tribal initiations, like supposedly what many African tribes do involving circumcision of males and sometimes circumcision/genital mutilation of females. Circumcising males is certainly not a big deal in our society. However, this article gets really gross.

That’s it! This Wikipedia article is no help.

I just took a walk and asked beerdog2 and nannygoat to brainstorm an appropriate initiation ceremony for the wine-dog club. This is what we decided:

We’ll invite billygoat over to winedog1’s house for the initiation ceremony and dinner. Nannygoat, the girlfriend is also welcome to attend, especially since she participated in the design. Winedog1 has two crazy, big dogs and I will bring over my wacky little dog and big dog. Billygoat has a little female dog; he can bring her if he wants, but he’ll have to be prepared to defend her.

We will put a dog collar around billygoat’s neck. Then, we’ll pour some good value wine in a clean bowl (as opposed to a regular used dog bowl). He’ll have to get down on all fours and lap up the wine. Then, he will have to recite the wine-dog oath. It will go something like this:

“I swear to always seek out and drink good value wines. I will eat and drink with gusto. I promise to be loyal to the members of the pack.”

Then, we’ll have supper and he can relax – that is, if he can relax around four to five crazy dogs.

Billygoat may end up regretting not simply accepting the wine glass and a simple verbal agreement that he is now a wine-dog.

Winedog 2